Heart, Mind & Seoul: The first Six Months

In about a week, I will have been here in Korea for 6 months. Half of my contract is over. Looking back on all of it I wonder about how different my life is, how different I am, and what makes me liking Korea so much. In many ways, my life here is one of convenience.

It was convenient for me to come here—not easy, mind you, but convenient in the sense that I had nothing keeping me in the states. Moreover teaching/living here was a convenient opportunity to help me take care of the pesky student loans I had accumulated during my university days.

Even living here, things are convenient: transportation, shopping, eating out, traveling, etc. Sure, sometimes the language barrier can be a problem, but for the most part, and especially since I live in Seoul, I can usually communicate something to get my point across.

Seoul has cafes and bars and clubs and shopping centers and subways and everything that we have back home.

All in all, there is very little inconvenience in my life.

And in many ways, my life hasn’t changed too dramatically since coming here. The places are different, the people, the language, the food—but me, my life, and what I do daily feels so routine.

Thus, I can’t help but wonder just what it is that is keeping me here in Korea.

Is it the fact that the novelty of living in another country hasn’t worn off yet?

Is it because my life is terribly convenient here?

Is it because I don’t really have a reason to leave?

That I don’t want to leave this life of little responsibility? Because I know that once I go back home, I know, truly, that I would have to buckle down and get serious about my life haha.

The thing about being a foreigner in Korea, is that you are just so, so aware of how much a foreigner you are. I’m not just talking about how much you stand out in a crowd, or how much people stare, the language barrier, or how some internet sites won’t accept your foreigner ID. What I am talking about is all of that, combined with the ever prevalent thought that the visa stamped in your passport only allows you to be in the country for a year and some days.

It’s the fact that with every foreigner you meet, there will come a time when you will have to say goodbye to that person.

It’s beginning.

This long and painful farewell. I haven’t yet been here 6 months and already I’ve had to say goodbye to people who are returning home. Some have finished their contracts and others are breaking them, but it’s a sad truth that honestly, our paths will most likely never cross again.

For whatever reason, our lives brought us here to Korea, and our paths crossed and we had these moments and shared experiences and this time…and that’s all we get.

It just feels so sad.

It could be said that this is a similar situation to that of going away to college. Everyone knows that eventually you’ll have to say goodbye to the places and people you met at college. That the end is always in sight.

Maybe it’s just that this is one year.

Maybe it’s that we were pulled from a wider pool of people, coming from more countries, distant countries, and that it would be harder to not only keep in contact, but to keep up meaningful contact.

Maybe it’s that as foreigners in a different country, we force bonds on each other faster and easier and it feels strange to continue in a place with a severed bond. To go on alone when there was a time when that wasn’t the case.

I’ve digressed.

I don’t know what it is about Korea that is keeping me here. What it is that is preventing me from leaving. But having been here for half of my contract, and only having another 6 months left here… I don’t think I’m ready to go yet. I feel like there’s more here for me to do and go and experience.

So if the opportunity comes to me to stay another year, I will accept it.