Heart, Mind, & Seoul: Month One

It's been one month to the day that I've been in Seoul. It's been a whirlwind month to say the least, and I'm not quite sure how to describe how surreal everything still feels, and yet at the same time, the stirrings of the familiar and the comfort of a place called home.

I'm only just starting to get into a routine, of work as well as play, and during the daytime when I'm on the grind, it's lovely to have the evenings and the weekends to explore. The city is still on a scale the likes of which I've never lived before, and there's so much I want to see and do and I know that I've barely scratched the surface of what it means to live in Seoul. Or, in other words, I have yet to discover what Seoul's word is. I feel like such an adventurer, going just to go because I'm confident that I'll find something worth going for. It's thrilling and exciting and at times can make someone feel infinite, even, or perhaps especially, in a city of bright lights and nameless faces.

I had worried, initially, about my choice to work in Seoul. At first I wasn't sure I was prepared for Seoul--that it would be too big, too urban, too impersonal for me. I had thought maybe I better start out somewhere close by, but not in, Seoul... like Incheon or Suwon/Gyeonggi. But then I realized that you can never prepare for something as complex as Seoul--that there's nothing you can do, say, plan for, or study that can encompass all the Seoul is. You just have to go, and trust that as big as a city like Seoul is, with all of its means and resources and experience at its disposal, it can offer your something that no other city in Korea can.

So I decided to go with Seoul, and I haven't regretted it once.

But this day not only marks the end of my first month in Korea...but it also marks the last day of my 25th year. Tomorrow is my 26th birthday.

Did I know, a year ago that I would be celebrating my 26th in Korea? I hadn't the faintest idea. Sure, the idea would have been extremely appealing to me, but I think back then it was something like wishful thinking. There were a million reasons why I couldn't have gone half-way around the world for something like teaching english.

It's funny how all million reasons seemed to be carried off by the wind. In the end, they amounted to very little.

This last year saw some incredible highs and lows. I finished my master's thesis and obtained my masters degree. I moved across the country to study at UPenn. I got my butt kicked by greek & subsequently dropped out of school. I bummed around Pennsylvania and then California for months doing random work & play. I moved out of the US to work internationally. I began to study Korean. I currently have two apartments in two cities in two countries. I made new friends and kept old ones. I got into fights, and I laughed. A lot.

All in all, not a bad year, I say.

When I think about my life as it currently stands, there's not a whole lot I would change about it. Sure, I had envisioned my life differently as a child, and it's true that I would like a bit more stability, since I can't be teaching english in Korea my whole life and need to be prepared for what happens to me once I leave this place (if I leave this place?) and settle back down in the US...this is the very thing that worries my parents the most, because, let's face it, I'm not exactly young enough to be gallivanting all over without a care in the world. BUT, I'm happy. Here, in this place, in this space, in this moment.

I not only work and survive in Seoul, but I also live in Seoul. I hope to flourish in Seoul.

I also would not be here without the people who have supported, and continue to support, me. I am only ever so strong because I know the quality of the people who are at my back. In so many ways, this adventure is yours as well as mine.